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Splatoon 3 Review

Hello, Gamers! Today is my highly-anticipated, at least to me, Splatoon 3 review! If you haven’t already, I highly suggest that you check out my review of the Splatoon 3 Splatfest World Premiere. I go over the results of that Splatfest and a few other things about the game. You can check it out here.

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What Is Splatoon?

Before I jump into the review, let me answer the question that some of you may have; What the heck even is Splatoon? If you aren’t a Nintendo fan you may not know and it’s a genuine question to ask. Heck, you may even have a Nintendo Switch and you’re stuck knee-deep into Animal Crossing or something like that and you don’t branch out much. That’s okay! I got you.

Splatoon is a 3rd-person PvP shooter. The first game was released on the Nintendo Wii U, with the two most recent games released on the Nintendo Switch. There’s a PvE story mode, but the main focus of the gameplay is on online multiplayer battles called Turf Wars. The point of a Turf War is for your team to ink more of the area than the opposing team. You’re on a team of four, and if you have four friends that play it’s a great deal of fun (when the game works as it’s intended to).

Another big thing to the game are big events called Splatfests. In the first two games, the two idols hosting the broadcast would have players vote between them and battle it out. In Splatoon 3, there are now three idols, so teams are split into 3. This also introduced a new mode called Tricolor Turf Battles, which are quite fun once you understand the mode.

The World Premiere Splatfest had us voting between rock, paper, or scissors. The first official Splatfest after the game launched asked the question, “What would you bring with you to a deserted island?” and we had to choose between gear, grub, or fun. Shiver, the idol in blue, won both of those Splatfests. 

The tide was turned overwhelmingly in her favor, as over twice as many players voted for gear than grub or fun. This caused some complications that I will mention later in the article, but as you can see, the Splatfests are a lot of fun. The idols also put on a special concert just for the event. You also get rewarded for participating, so it’s quite worth it to do so.

My Thoughts On Splatoon 3

Now that you have a sense of what the game entails, especially if you’ve read my previous article, let’s jump into my review of the game. You know how this goes by now; first I’ll go over what I like, then what I don’t like, and then give my final rating. Both of my lists are a bit lengthy, so let’s get into it!

What I Liked About Splatoon 3

  • Continuous visual improvements since Splatoon 1
  • The music
    • Anarchy Rainbow and Till Depth Do Us Part are my favorite songs
  • Interesting lore
  • Strategic Gameplay
    • Plenty of places to try out new weapons
    • Every weapon/sub-weapon has a purpose and can be deadly in the right hands.
    • All Specials have a purpose (mode dependent)
    • Gear abilities allow the gear set you are wearing to be optimized to a specific weapon
      • An example would be that the weapon has a heavy drain on your ink, but your abilities allow you to save ink.
  • Challenging Story Mode
  • Food eaten before battle increases your experience or money gained after a match.
    • Drinks increase the likelihood of gear obtaining a specific ability.
  • Customizable Splashtags (Nametags)
    • Banners
    • Stickers
    • Titles
  • Lockers are nifty
  • Judd and Lil’ Judd are cute, even if Lil’ Judd is a bit suspicious.
  • Salmon Run is now always available and has even been expanded upon
  • Ability to skip the broadcast
    • Just shows up with their talking emote and the subtitles with pictures of the stages in the upper-left corner. 
  • Splatsville is bigger than Inkopolis Plaza and Inkopolis Square.
    • The state of the city; mostly clean, props in the way, or trashed depends on if there is about to be a Splatfest or not (or if one has concluded).
      • I wasn’t a fan of the trashed Splatsville during the World Premiere, but now that I know why it’s like that, I appreciate it.
  • Deep Cut’s designs (they grew on me since the World Premiere Splatfest)
    • Big Man is an Eagle Ray
    • Fry is a Vampire Squid
  • Lil’ Buddy (Smallfry) is super cute
  • The character customization

What I Don’t Like About Splatoon 3

  • The Online Environment
    • No dedicated servers, it’s P2P meaning online matches rely solely on the players’ internet connection.
      • This causes a lot of issues like connection errors which result in players disconnecting
        • If players disconnect, the whole match is most likely just tossed out. They do this to avoid matches being “unfair”, but it gets super annoying when it happens several times a day.
          • I think it would be better to give the disadvantaged team a buff, rather than killing the match.
  • Not Enough Stages
  • Not Enough Turf Battle Songs
  • No Squid Beats 3
  • When you lose a battle, you now have to watch the other team gloat, rather than your own team being sad.
    • I find this to be incredibly demoralizing/annoying.
  • Nintendo decreased the likelihood of Tricolor Battles appearing, even if you select to go into them.
    • This was because of the criticism of the mode from the World Premiere. Nintendo did not provide adequate instruction on how the mode was supposed to work, so people didn’t understand it and got frustrated. This was their response to that, rather than instructing players on how to play the mode.
    • Them decreasing the likelihood of them appearing along with the fact Gear one popularity overwhelmingly last Splatfest, caused Tricolor Battles to be basically nonexistent. 
  • The Trizooka special gets stuck on the stage geometry quite regularly, rendering it tedious to use.
  • Inkstamp is hard to control.
  • No Splashdown special outside of story mode.
  • Story mode exclusive ink colors.
    • There are limited ink colors for battles so this is more than a little frustrating.

My Final Rating For Splatoon 3

Now, after I’ve gone through all of those likes and dislikes, it’s time for my final rating! This game would honestly be nearly perfect if it wasn’t for the lack of stages, music, Squid Beats, and the gosh dang disconnections! Because of all of that, I gotta rate it 4/5 stars. 

I love this game sooo much and would love to rate it higher but the online environment needs fixed ASAP for that to happen. How often I get connection errors and player disconnects is really disheartening and makes me not want to play the game because I just physically can’t.

The Next Splatfest…

So, you might be curious about what the next Splatfest theme is going to be and when the next Splatfest is. Well, the good news is we already know! Per the official Splatoon North America Twitter account, we have these details regarding the next Splatfest:

So, which team will you be on, Gamers? I think I’ll be going Team Grass because I plan on picking Sprigatito as my starter in Pokémon Violet. Let me know in the comments which team you’ll be joining.

Wrapping Up

That’s all I have for now, Gamers! Speaking of Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet, that will be our next article! New information is being released today so I will have an article up tomorrow going over all of the information I missed during my hiatus. Don’t worry, it’s not that much. See you tomorrow, Gamers!

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